Back to GatefoldIssue #3 by Liam Goncet
October 2017 |
Ryker’s Island
Six Months Ago…
Wade Wilson took a moment to take in the figure sitting before him. Confidence radiated in their posture as they took a long drag off the cigarette in between their fingers. It was easy enough to guess they were working for some type of government agency but why would they be interested in him? There were hundreds of other superpowered beings out there with a better track record of “playing nice.”
“You still with us?” Wisdom snapped his fingers and brought Wilson’s focus back to him.
“Wisdom? Where have I heard that name before?” Wade asked glancing back to the man in front of him.
“I used to run X-Force for a time back in the day, worked for the British government, still do now and again. Any of that jog your memory?”
“Nah, I know you from something though.” Wade gave it a few more seconds of thought before slamming his hand on the table. “Kitty Pryde! You boinked Kitty Pryde.”
Wisdom put out his cigarette and gave a small chuckle. “Not exactly my crowning achievement but at least you’ve heard of me.”
“Did she like, phase through you when she got off? Did that little dragon thing of her’s watch?”
“No and god, no.” Wisdom cleared his throat and grabbed the second folder on the table, the one that wasn’t Wade’s. “Anyway, I’m offering you your freedom in exchange for some help.”
“You’ve got this big file on me and you didn’t even bother to check on how I got in here? I put myself here, bud. I’m looking to serve my time.”
“How noble, nice to see you have a conscience, that can be helpful sometimes. Point is, I don’t care too much about the reasons you decided to come to Ryker’s, you want to try and make up for past sins, great but sitting here in prison isn’t the most constructive way to do that. I think you’ve probably figured that out by now.”
Wade remained silent and turned his aim to the floor. Wisdom had a point. After all, he willingly went in here to make the attempt at being a better person but could Wade honestly say he was better now than he was before? He didn’t know and he wasn’t going to find out by sitting around and being mocked by criminals.
Wade looked back up at Wisdom, his gaze still set on him. “Why me? I mean, surely you know I’m a loose cannon, doesn’t play by the rules, a real 90s action hero type.”
“I need someone that nobody will ever suspect any agency of being stupid enough to take on.” Wisdom cracked a smile and pulled out another cigarette, throwing the folder he was holding down on the table before lighting it.
The folder had various photos of a man in a business suit with slicked back black hair, he had the type of cocky smirk that only comes with ridiculous wealth. The photos were mostly from press releases, him shaking hands with other slimy business men.
“What is this a photo shoot for Wall Street Dickbag Monthly?” Wade asked, pushing the folder back to the center of the desk.
“The man pictured is named Walter Declun, he’s a Roxxon executive who we believe is the leading seller of Mutant Growth Hormone on the East Coast.” Wisdom got up from his chair and began to move around in front of Wade. “We have reason to believe Declun is capturing mutants and experimenting on them to create a more powerful dose of the drug. That’s where you come in.”
“You keep saying ‘we,’ who are ‘we,’ exactly?” Wade asked, he wasn’t expecting an honest answer but it would buy him some time to wrap his head around the situation. After all, he still had trouble believing this wasn’t some long con or that Wisdom wasn’t expecting him to get horribly murdered in the process.
“Don’t worry about who I represent, you’ll never see them because they don’t know you’re doing this. It’s off the books, the only person you answer to is me.”
Wade smiled and began to lean back in his chair. A whole group of government officials watching his moves and threatening him with prison was daunting to even think about but having to answer to just one guy, that he could do. “Where do we start, boss?”
“Not in New York,” Wisdom said, snuffing out another cigarette, “Declun’s operation goes outside the country and that’s where I’ll need you for the time being.”
“Do I get all my stuff back, the guns, katanas, my kick-ass suit?”
“It’s all waiting for you once you get released.” Wisdom stepped towards Wade and offered his hand for a shake, waiting until their hands met to speak again. “Just so we’re clear, you go off the deep end or cause a mess that I can’t explain away, I’ll personally make sure you have a very painful existence.”
Wisdom took his hand away as the points of his fingers began to turn into knives of energy. He moved his index finger and the blade shot out, whizzing past Wade and barely missing him as it embedded itself in the wall.
Wade looked back at the dagger of energy, still stuck in the wall, before turning back to Wisdom. “Understood, now, where’s my stuff?”
“Return of the Merc – Part Three”
By Liam Goncet
“Um…uh…ergh,” words were forming in Deadpool’s head but they dissipated into gibberish upon reaching his tongue. Finally, after a full thirty seconds of stammering, Deadpool settled for the simplest words he could find. “Alright, how do I blow up this door and not kill you?”
“Don’t tell me, all the explosives you have with you are grenades, right?” The annoyance in her tone suggested a familiarity that didn’t make sense, given this was their first meeting.
“Er…yeah, grenades are sort of the all-purpose explosive, except for this purpose. They’re also not great for stealth it turns out.” Deadpool shook his head to refocus “hold on a minute here, how did you know that? Are you some sort of telepath?”
“What did I say about questions, Wade?” Her response sent a shiver down his spine.
“How the hell-“ Deadpool stopped himself, questions were useless right now, he needed to focus on the situation at hand. “Hand…” he muttered before looking over to the wounded guard he left lying against the wall. “You, which one of these idiots that I maimed and wounded is the big boss? His hand is gonna be the thing that opens that door, isn’t it?”
The guard laughed weakly, “none of the guards have access to the rooms, we’re only here to make sure nobody unwanted shows up.”
“And you boys did a really excellent job of it, too.” He gave an exasperated sigh before standing up and pacing around in front of the bleeding man. “Okay, so nobody here has access to the rooms, that means that someone is going to be on there way here shortly, probably with an army, to assess the situation. Easy, I’ll just wait for them to show up, cut off their hand and presto, she’s free and I’m back at Weasel’s just in time for some flapjacks!”
“Boy, it really isn’t an act, you are that dumb, huh?”
Deadpool turned around to face the door, “careful what you say, Layla Miller, or I might just leave you here.” Deadpool put his hands on his hips and basked in the triumphant glory of a supposed victory. “You’re not the only one who knows a name they’re not supposed to.”
“What are you talking about, of course you should know my name, after all, I’m your mission, right? The whole reason you’re back in New York?” Layla smiled as Deadpool’s hands fell to his side and he simply stared back at her. “Anyway, more on that subject later, we have company.”
“You shouldn’t be able to know-“ Deadpool once again stopped short of his full question as he heard footsteps making their way down the hall, a single pair, he smirked and turned around to see a man with short blond hair strolling towards him slowly. “Don’t tell me, you’re the fearsome beast they call ‘Bushwhacker?’”
His laugh was quickly silenced as a hail of machine gun fire came in Deadpool’s direction. He ran back around the corner but took more bullets than he wanted to, thankfully, it’d only be a moment before they’d be healed.
“You did this all yourself, huh? Impressive. Deadpool, right? I know about you, healing factor and all that mutant bullshit. Got to be honest, I wasn’t expecting you. I figured I just had to deal with the clone guy and his partner.” Bushwhacker continued to stroll down the hall as he spoke, his arm transforming once again, this time into something he rarely used, a blade.
“You’ve heard of me? I’m touched, now that we’re finally meeting, I have something I’ve been wanting to ask you all day.” Deadpool paused as he pulled out his katanas and prepared to turn the corner. “Do you tell the ladies to call you ‘Bushwhacker?’ I mean, that has to be the only reason you’re using that name, right?” Deadpool charged but failed to notice the blade until it was too late.
Bushwhacker smiled as he dug the blade deeper into Deadpool’s stomach, “jokes aren’t gonna help you now, mutie.” The blade glided across the length of his torso in an attempt to disembowel.
“First off, ow, second,” Deadpool brought up both his katanas to decapitate Bushwhacker but the assassin moved out of the way. Blood poured onto the floor from Deadpool’s open wound as he put an arm around his stomach to keep his entrails inside. “Ugh, I hate having to keep my organs inside my body. You ever think you’ve healed only to see half your intestine mixed in with your new flesh? I tell ya, it’s a real mood killer.”
Bushwhacker charged at Deadpool, blocked a shot from one of the katanas and kicked him in his open wound. Deadpool shuffled backwards but Bushwhacker stayed on him, he blocked another katana attack and slashed at Deadpool’s stomach again, managing only a superficial cut.
“Listen, you got guns, I got guns. You got blades, I got blades. Let’s just call the whole thing a draw and go grab some breakfast, huh?”
Bushwhacker blocked Deadpool’s next slash and his arm began to transform as he did so, getting larger in size as it took on the form of a flamethrower. He pushed his opponent backwards as he let out a torrent of flame in their direction.
“Well, that is something I don’t have.” Deadpool barely managed to dodge the flames as he ran back around the corner, taking off his belt as he did so. “Alright, beautiful, let’s show him how we do things,” he kissed his belt before running back out in Bushwhacker’s direction. Deadpool dodged the first blast of flame as he began to charge towards Bushwhacker. The next blast of flame seemed poised to hit Deadpool directly but he jumped out of the way of it at the last moment, leaving his belt behind in the flame.
The ensuing explosion was louder than anything Deadpool could remember hearing, in fact, if it wasn’t for his abilities he was certain he’d never hear a thing again. The flames had set off the remaining grenades in his belt and sent Deadpool himself rocketing up into the roof, he landed back down on the floor as he took in the carnage around him. The hallway was mostly destroyed, one of the walls was completely collapsed and substantial portions of the roof had caved in. Lying under some of the debris, currently unconscious, was Bushwhacker.
“Fuck yeah, another victory for grenades! They truly are the all-purpose explosive!” Deadpool slowly lifted himself up and sauntered over to his prone opponent. “Come on, big guy. Up you go, you’ve got a door to unlock.” He lifted the fallen form of Bushwhacker and began to slowly move him towards the door before dropping him again. “Jesus, what am I doing?” Deadpool asked himself before he pulled out one of his katanas, preparing to cut off one of the hands of his foe. “Let’s hope I pick the right one.” He mused, eying Bushwhacker’s right hand.
Something caught Deadpool’s attention before he brought down his blade, a keycard, lying on the ground amid the rubble. The card had a picture of Bushwhacker on it and included the phrase “security pass.” He looked between the card and his sword in an attempt to determine which course to take. A large sigh exited his mouth as he sheathed his katana and grabbed the card, making his way to the security pad and pressing the card against it.
“Finally,” was all Layla said as she strolled out of the, previously locked, room. She took a moment to take in the carnage Deadpool had wrought before beginning to walk down the hall. “Wasn’t there a guard here too?”
“Oh, uh…yeah, I’m sure he’s fine and not at all dead and dismembered.” Deadpool said with a chuckle as he lifted up Bushwhacker and began to drag him back to the open room. He tossed the prone figure in and shut the door, locking him away for the time being. “Well, that solves that problem. Now, to get out of here before Many Man and Buff Boy show up.”
“Too late for that,” was all Layla said as Madrox turned the corner and began making his way down the hallway.
“Well, you’ll have to show me where the backdoor is, then.” Deadpool said grabbing her by the arm and moving in the opposite direction.
“Nah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen, ‘Pool.”
“What are you talking about? I have a mission, remember? You’re the one who pointed it out.” Deadpool stopped attempting to drag Layla with him but did not let go of her arm as he stared.
“How about we make a change to that plan? You let me go with Madrox and I don’t let it slip that you work under the thumb of Peter Wisdom.” Layla turned to face Deadpool, a smug smile on her lips. “Better hurry up and decide.”
“You…you’re some sort of precog or something, right? That has to be it, how else would you know all this. No wonder Petey made such a big deal about you.” Deadpool looked up the hallway to see the actual Madrox and Strong Guy turn the corner. The dupe that had been making his way towards them was reabsorbed. “Well, I guess I don’t have much of a choice now, do I?”
“You’ve got to be shitting me?” Madrox yelled as the duo got closer. “I should have known that you were the reason this place looks like a bomb hit it.”
“Madrox…big guy…I found your girl.” Deadpool said, pointing to Layla. “Oh, I also took care of that pesky Bushwhacker,” he chuckled at the mention of the name.
The two men looked at each other then back at Deadpool in shock before Layla interrupted. “Hi there, Layla Miller, not sure how you know this clown but he did manage to break me out of here and, actually, saved the two of you as well.” Deadpool moved over to stand beside the other two as they all stared in shock at Layla. “My parents are long dead, the people who contacted you to find me were working with Roxxon in an attempt to capture you. Don’t feel too bad about it, they probably hired some really good actors.”
Silence filled the room as Madrox and Strong Guy stared, slack-jawed, at the precocious pre-teen in front of them, Deadpool chuckled, “well, that settles that, huh?”
“How does she know that?” Strong Guy asked, still in shock at the revelation.
Deadpool pat the big man on the shoulder and put an arm around Madrox, “trust me, pal, it’s better to not ask questions.”
“Here’s a question, how the hell did you find this place before us?” Madrox inquired, pushing Deadpool’s arm off of him.
“Hey, let’s not worry about the how. Let’s worry about the why. I was clearly concerned about this girl’s safety.” A nearby section of wall collapsed and Deadpool looked over at it briefly before turning back around with an awkward laugh.
“Look, I’d hate to turn attention away from this thrilling battle of the minds but I think you’re missing the bigger picture here. Roxxon are not going to be happy that I escaped, they’re going to come down on all of us. Grenade for brains can handle himself.” Layla said, gesturing to Deadpool. “The three of us though? We need to stick together.”
“Well, you make a fair point and keeping someone around who knows about Roxxon wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Madrox looked to Strong Guy with a shrug, “what do you think, Guido?”
Strong Guy looked over the girl for a moment before turning back to Madrox. “What else are we going to do, leave her in an orphanage?”
“Well, this is a nice little family unit you’ve all created for yourselves. I’m just gonna…show myself out here.” Deadpool slowly shuffled away before Madrox stopped him.
“I don’t know how you did it and it’s probably best I don’t, but thanks.”
“All in a day’s work for heroes like us, Maddie. Now, off I go to fight evil or grab some breakfast, blowing up an evil corporate hideout is hungry work.” Deadpool walked off from the trio. Now, came the part he was dreading.
# # # # #
Pete Wisdom sat down at a desk in a dimly lit office. The desk was barren except for some paperwork that needed done, knowing his client, it would be at least an hour before he actually managed to show up. These weren’t his official offices but a room Wisdom had rented out to continue to keep both his fight against Walter Declun and his alliance with Deadpool a secret from his employers.
Before long, the door to the office opened as the mercenary himself strolled in. “Hey there, Petey! Did I make the news yet?”
Wisdom hid his surprise at Deadpool’s early arrival and simply pushed his papers to the side. “Wade, you’re early. Where’s the girl?”
“She’s safe and that’s the important part, right?” Deadpool asked nervously, keeping his eyes away from Wisdom’s glance.
“Stop dicking me around, where is she?”
“She went with the detective, Madrox. And before you lose it, tell me how she seemed to know I was showing up and how you tipped me off to her location?”
Wisdom couldn’t hide his shock this time, that was news to even him. “That…that doesn’t make any damn sense.”
“You’re telling me, how did you miss out on mentioning that I was dealing with a precog.”
“No,” Wisdom interjected, “her power isn’t precognition. There’s something else at play here. Christ, it’s never simple is it?” He sighed as he lit a cigarette and rubbed at his temple. “What about the facility and Bushwhacker?”
“Both taken care of, their little mutant testing ground got thrashed by the master exploder himself.” Deadpool proclaimed.
“You blew it up?! Christ, you’re not in Madripoor anymore. You can’t blow up a random building and not expect some questions to be asked.”
“Hey, it was in the middle of nowhere and, as you made abundantly clear these last few months, you and I don’t have anything that could connect us to one another. Way I see it, I did you a solid.”
“What you ‘did me’ is another in a lengthy line of headaches. Not to mention the target you painted on your back.”
“I can handle myself, Declun can throw everything his big corporate money can buy at me and I’ll still be here telling him to get stuffed.”
“I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about the people around you that you’re going to get killed. You’re reckless and that’s not going to end well for the non-superpowered folk.”
There was a long pause as Deadpool took those words in. “You give me the missions and I’ll get the job done. That was the agreement and, outside of any surprise superpowers, that’s what I’m gonna do.” Deadpool stared at Wisdom until he gave a sigh and a nod. “Now then, I’m going to make a metric ton of pancakes and I intend on eating all of them. You know how to get in touch.”
“Yeah, yeah, get out of here.” Wisdom said with a handwave as he sighed and returned to his paperwork. He’d have to get the full details another time, for now, he’d settle with finding out what exactly was going on with Layla Miller.
# # # # #
Morning came far too early for Weasel, he wasn’t sure when he had actually managed to drift to sleep but it certainly wasn’t long enough. He groggily awoke to the sounds of clanging metal coming from the kitchen.
“Wha-“ was all he could muster as he willed himself out of bed and to the door.
Peepers, the perpetually big-eyed mutant, who was also Weasel’s roommate, stood in the doorway to the kitchen staring at an unseen force that seemed to be emanating from the kitchen. His look was a mix of horror and bemusement.
“I don’t think that’s how you use a wisk.” Peepers said to the mysterious entity.
“This is how I use it. There’s a reason people come from all around to try my world-famous flapjacks.”
“I thought you said you were making pancakes?”
Weasel heard the unmistakable voice and jolted awake, Deadpool had returned. He should have expected it but Weasel gave up expecting anything from Wade Wilson years ago. “Wade, what are you doing?”
The kitchen itself was a mess, various pans laid all around, some managing to land in the sink by sheer luck, all had various amounts of pancake batter in them. Deadpool himself was wearing an apron and a chef’s hat, neither of which were around the home before his arrival.
“Weaz, you’re finally awake, I’m making flapjacks,” he said, gesturing to the kitchen table, littered with pans. “Why don’t you take up a seat and I’ll make some fresh for ya?”
“Uh…I’m good, why are you here, Wade?”
“Well, I figured you were right. There’s a lot of issues we have to sort through. I know I’ve been selfish in the past but…I’ve changed Weaz.” Deadpool took off his chef’s hat in an attempt to show he was serious. “I ended up saving a mutant girl from being experimented on last night and honestly, it felt good. Sure, I blew up some people but I did something good in the end. That’s got to count for something, right?”
“What does that have to do with us? I’m not your little tech-boy sidekick anymore, Wade.”
“You shouldn’t be, you’re better than that and I always knew you were. You should do literally anything else, working with me would be a terrible idea. Besides, I’m going for a new ‘lone wolf super-hero’ deal and you’d cramp my style.”
Weasel smirked, “right, that’s why you showed up with those two detectives?”
“Hey, only one of them is a detective. The other guy is just big boned.”
Weasel let out a laugh and took a seat at the messy table. “On second thought, I’ll take some flapjacks, I’m starving.”
“Yeah! Weaz, you remember how good these babies are, couldn’t resist.”
“Uh…I’ll take some too, I guess.” Peepers said as he moved to take a seat next to Weasel.
“I don’t remember asking you, Eyes Wide Open, but why the hell not? We’re celebrating, aren’t we?” Deadpool scooped more batter out of a pan he had at his feet and slapped it on the pan. “Things are only gonna go up from here, boys.”
# # # # #
A limo pulled up to the desecrated remains of a Roxxon warehouse. The site was a mess as various armored trucks parked themselves near the rubble, searching through the building for those still missing. A man with slicked back black hair exited the limo, a look of disgust on his face.
“Where is the government? This is a full-on terrorist attack and I want answers for who did this?” Walter Declun blurted into his phone as he ended the call and slammed his door. He strolled into the ruined building and was greeted by another man in a business suit.
“Mr. Declun, glad to see you make it in,” noticing that Declun was not going to respond the other man continued on. “The place appears to have been hit with two separate grenades, our current estimate is around a half dozen casualties and, of course, as I told you on the phone, we lost the mutant girl.”
Declun sneered, “where is Burbank?” The man motioned him to a nearby hallway where Bushwhacker sat on the ground, surrounded by armed guards. He looked up as Declun approached.
“Deadpool, the mutie freak you want is Deadpool. He had a few others with him but he’s the guy you want, crazy fucker almost blew me up.”
Declun looked the beaten and bruised man over, “do you remember our deal, Mr. Burbank?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” he paused for a moment, “you’re not…I mean, you can’t seriously-“
“I told you if you failed me and we lost the girl I’d need a replacement. You’re not a mutant but I’m sure experimenting on that arm of yours will be fun for a while.” Declun gestured for the guards as they went to grab Burbank.
Bushwhacker attempted to transform his arm but nothing happened, he looked to Declun in shock as a needle found its way into his neck. “Oh please, you think we haven’t developed an EMP capable of taking out your powers? The guards triggered it to get you out of that cell. We’ll discuss those ‘others’ you mentioned another time and for your sake, Mr. Burbank, I hope you are cooperative.”
The guards dragged Burbank away as he screamed obscenities at Declun before falling into unconsciousness yet again.
Declun turned to the other man, who shrunk a little at his gaze, “now then, let’s gather all the info we can find on Deadpool, shall we? I have a feeling we’ll need someone with more experience to handle him.”
Next: Dinosaurs and Deadpool. ‘Nuff said!
Six Months Ago…
Wade Wilson took a moment to take in the figure sitting before him. Confidence radiated in their posture as they took a long drag off the cigarette in between their fingers. It was easy enough to guess they were working for some type of government agency but why would they be interested in him? There were hundreds of other superpowered beings out there with a better track record of “playing nice.”
“You still with us?” Wisdom snapped his fingers and brought Wilson’s focus back to him.
“Wisdom? Where have I heard that name before?” Wade asked glancing back to the man in front of him.
“I used to run X-Force for a time back in the day, worked for the British government, still do now and again. Any of that jog your memory?”
“Nah, I know you from something though.” Wade gave it a few more seconds of thought before slamming his hand on the table. “Kitty Pryde! You boinked Kitty Pryde.”
Wisdom put out his cigarette and gave a small chuckle. “Not exactly my crowning achievement but at least you’ve heard of me.”
“Did she like, phase through you when she got off? Did that little dragon thing of her’s watch?”
“No and god, no.” Wisdom cleared his throat and grabbed the second folder on the table, the one that wasn’t Wade’s. “Anyway, I’m offering you your freedom in exchange for some help.”
“You’ve got this big file on me and you didn’t even bother to check on how I got in here? I put myself here, bud. I’m looking to serve my time.”
“How noble, nice to see you have a conscience, that can be helpful sometimes. Point is, I don’t care too much about the reasons you decided to come to Ryker’s, you want to try and make up for past sins, great but sitting here in prison isn’t the most constructive way to do that. I think you’ve probably figured that out by now.”
Wade remained silent and turned his aim to the floor. Wisdom had a point. After all, he willingly went in here to make the attempt at being a better person but could Wade honestly say he was better now than he was before? He didn’t know and he wasn’t going to find out by sitting around and being mocked by criminals.
Wade looked back up at Wisdom, his gaze still set on him. “Why me? I mean, surely you know I’m a loose cannon, doesn’t play by the rules, a real 90s action hero type.”
“I need someone that nobody will ever suspect any agency of being stupid enough to take on.” Wisdom cracked a smile and pulled out another cigarette, throwing the folder he was holding down on the table before lighting it.
The folder had various photos of a man in a business suit with slicked back black hair, he had the type of cocky smirk that only comes with ridiculous wealth. The photos were mostly from press releases, him shaking hands with other slimy business men.
“What is this a photo shoot for Wall Street Dickbag Monthly?” Wade asked, pushing the folder back to the center of the desk.
“The man pictured is named Walter Declun, he’s a Roxxon executive who we believe is the leading seller of Mutant Growth Hormone on the East Coast.” Wisdom got up from his chair and began to move around in front of Wade. “We have reason to believe Declun is capturing mutants and experimenting on them to create a more powerful dose of the drug. That’s where you come in.”
“You keep saying ‘we,’ who are ‘we,’ exactly?” Wade asked, he wasn’t expecting an honest answer but it would buy him some time to wrap his head around the situation. After all, he still had trouble believing this wasn’t some long con or that Wisdom wasn’t expecting him to get horribly murdered in the process.
“Don’t worry about who I represent, you’ll never see them because they don’t know you’re doing this. It’s off the books, the only person you answer to is me.”
Wade smiled and began to lean back in his chair. A whole group of government officials watching his moves and threatening him with prison was daunting to even think about but having to answer to just one guy, that he could do. “Where do we start, boss?”
“Not in New York,” Wisdom said, snuffing out another cigarette, “Declun’s operation goes outside the country and that’s where I’ll need you for the time being.”
“Do I get all my stuff back, the guns, katanas, my kick-ass suit?”
“It’s all waiting for you once you get released.” Wisdom stepped towards Wade and offered his hand for a shake, waiting until their hands met to speak again. “Just so we’re clear, you go off the deep end or cause a mess that I can’t explain away, I’ll personally make sure you have a very painful existence.”
Wisdom took his hand away as the points of his fingers began to turn into knives of energy. He moved his index finger and the blade shot out, whizzing past Wade and barely missing him as it embedded itself in the wall.
Wade looked back at the dagger of energy, still stuck in the wall, before turning back to Wisdom. “Understood, now, where’s my stuff?”
“Return of the Merc – Part Three”
By Liam Goncet
“Um…uh…ergh,” words were forming in Deadpool’s head but they dissipated into gibberish upon reaching his tongue. Finally, after a full thirty seconds of stammering, Deadpool settled for the simplest words he could find. “Alright, how do I blow up this door and not kill you?”
“Don’t tell me, all the explosives you have with you are grenades, right?” The annoyance in her tone suggested a familiarity that didn’t make sense, given this was their first meeting.
“Er…yeah, grenades are sort of the all-purpose explosive, except for this purpose. They’re also not great for stealth it turns out.” Deadpool shook his head to refocus “hold on a minute here, how did you know that? Are you some sort of telepath?”
“What did I say about questions, Wade?” Her response sent a shiver down his spine.
“How the hell-“ Deadpool stopped himself, questions were useless right now, he needed to focus on the situation at hand. “Hand…” he muttered before looking over to the wounded guard he left lying against the wall. “You, which one of these idiots that I maimed and wounded is the big boss? His hand is gonna be the thing that opens that door, isn’t it?”
The guard laughed weakly, “none of the guards have access to the rooms, we’re only here to make sure nobody unwanted shows up.”
“And you boys did a really excellent job of it, too.” He gave an exasperated sigh before standing up and pacing around in front of the bleeding man. “Okay, so nobody here has access to the rooms, that means that someone is going to be on there way here shortly, probably with an army, to assess the situation. Easy, I’ll just wait for them to show up, cut off their hand and presto, she’s free and I’m back at Weasel’s just in time for some flapjacks!”
“Boy, it really isn’t an act, you are that dumb, huh?”
Deadpool turned around to face the door, “careful what you say, Layla Miller, or I might just leave you here.” Deadpool put his hands on his hips and basked in the triumphant glory of a supposed victory. “You’re not the only one who knows a name they’re not supposed to.”
“What are you talking about, of course you should know my name, after all, I’m your mission, right? The whole reason you’re back in New York?” Layla smiled as Deadpool’s hands fell to his side and he simply stared back at her. “Anyway, more on that subject later, we have company.”
“You shouldn’t be able to know-“ Deadpool once again stopped short of his full question as he heard footsteps making their way down the hall, a single pair, he smirked and turned around to see a man with short blond hair strolling towards him slowly. “Don’t tell me, you’re the fearsome beast they call ‘Bushwhacker?’”
His laugh was quickly silenced as a hail of machine gun fire came in Deadpool’s direction. He ran back around the corner but took more bullets than he wanted to, thankfully, it’d only be a moment before they’d be healed.
“You did this all yourself, huh? Impressive. Deadpool, right? I know about you, healing factor and all that mutant bullshit. Got to be honest, I wasn’t expecting you. I figured I just had to deal with the clone guy and his partner.” Bushwhacker continued to stroll down the hall as he spoke, his arm transforming once again, this time into something he rarely used, a blade.
“You’ve heard of me? I’m touched, now that we’re finally meeting, I have something I’ve been wanting to ask you all day.” Deadpool paused as he pulled out his katanas and prepared to turn the corner. “Do you tell the ladies to call you ‘Bushwhacker?’ I mean, that has to be the only reason you’re using that name, right?” Deadpool charged but failed to notice the blade until it was too late.
Bushwhacker smiled as he dug the blade deeper into Deadpool’s stomach, “jokes aren’t gonna help you now, mutie.” The blade glided across the length of his torso in an attempt to disembowel.
“First off, ow, second,” Deadpool brought up both his katanas to decapitate Bushwhacker but the assassin moved out of the way. Blood poured onto the floor from Deadpool’s open wound as he put an arm around his stomach to keep his entrails inside. “Ugh, I hate having to keep my organs inside my body. You ever think you’ve healed only to see half your intestine mixed in with your new flesh? I tell ya, it’s a real mood killer.”
Bushwhacker charged at Deadpool, blocked a shot from one of the katanas and kicked him in his open wound. Deadpool shuffled backwards but Bushwhacker stayed on him, he blocked another katana attack and slashed at Deadpool’s stomach again, managing only a superficial cut.
“Listen, you got guns, I got guns. You got blades, I got blades. Let’s just call the whole thing a draw and go grab some breakfast, huh?”
Bushwhacker blocked Deadpool’s next slash and his arm began to transform as he did so, getting larger in size as it took on the form of a flamethrower. He pushed his opponent backwards as he let out a torrent of flame in their direction.
“Well, that is something I don’t have.” Deadpool barely managed to dodge the flames as he ran back around the corner, taking off his belt as he did so. “Alright, beautiful, let’s show him how we do things,” he kissed his belt before running back out in Bushwhacker’s direction. Deadpool dodged the first blast of flame as he began to charge towards Bushwhacker. The next blast of flame seemed poised to hit Deadpool directly but he jumped out of the way of it at the last moment, leaving his belt behind in the flame.
The ensuing explosion was louder than anything Deadpool could remember hearing, in fact, if it wasn’t for his abilities he was certain he’d never hear a thing again. The flames had set off the remaining grenades in his belt and sent Deadpool himself rocketing up into the roof, he landed back down on the floor as he took in the carnage around him. The hallway was mostly destroyed, one of the walls was completely collapsed and substantial portions of the roof had caved in. Lying under some of the debris, currently unconscious, was Bushwhacker.
“Fuck yeah, another victory for grenades! They truly are the all-purpose explosive!” Deadpool slowly lifted himself up and sauntered over to his prone opponent. “Come on, big guy. Up you go, you’ve got a door to unlock.” He lifted the fallen form of Bushwhacker and began to slowly move him towards the door before dropping him again. “Jesus, what am I doing?” Deadpool asked himself before he pulled out one of his katanas, preparing to cut off one of the hands of his foe. “Let’s hope I pick the right one.” He mused, eying Bushwhacker’s right hand.
Something caught Deadpool’s attention before he brought down his blade, a keycard, lying on the ground amid the rubble. The card had a picture of Bushwhacker on it and included the phrase “security pass.” He looked between the card and his sword in an attempt to determine which course to take. A large sigh exited his mouth as he sheathed his katana and grabbed the card, making his way to the security pad and pressing the card against it.
“Finally,” was all Layla said as she strolled out of the, previously locked, room. She took a moment to take in the carnage Deadpool had wrought before beginning to walk down the hall. “Wasn’t there a guard here too?”
“Oh, uh…yeah, I’m sure he’s fine and not at all dead and dismembered.” Deadpool said with a chuckle as he lifted up Bushwhacker and began to drag him back to the open room. He tossed the prone figure in and shut the door, locking him away for the time being. “Well, that solves that problem. Now, to get out of here before Many Man and Buff Boy show up.”
“Too late for that,” was all Layla said as Madrox turned the corner and began making his way down the hallway.
“Well, you’ll have to show me where the backdoor is, then.” Deadpool said grabbing her by the arm and moving in the opposite direction.
“Nah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen, ‘Pool.”
“What are you talking about? I have a mission, remember? You’re the one who pointed it out.” Deadpool stopped attempting to drag Layla with him but did not let go of her arm as he stared.
“How about we make a change to that plan? You let me go with Madrox and I don’t let it slip that you work under the thumb of Peter Wisdom.” Layla turned to face Deadpool, a smug smile on her lips. “Better hurry up and decide.”
“You…you’re some sort of precog or something, right? That has to be it, how else would you know all this. No wonder Petey made such a big deal about you.” Deadpool looked up the hallway to see the actual Madrox and Strong Guy turn the corner. The dupe that had been making his way towards them was reabsorbed. “Well, I guess I don’t have much of a choice now, do I?”
“You’ve got to be shitting me?” Madrox yelled as the duo got closer. “I should have known that you were the reason this place looks like a bomb hit it.”
“Madrox…big guy…I found your girl.” Deadpool said, pointing to Layla. “Oh, I also took care of that pesky Bushwhacker,” he chuckled at the mention of the name.
The two men looked at each other then back at Deadpool in shock before Layla interrupted. “Hi there, Layla Miller, not sure how you know this clown but he did manage to break me out of here and, actually, saved the two of you as well.” Deadpool moved over to stand beside the other two as they all stared in shock at Layla. “My parents are long dead, the people who contacted you to find me were working with Roxxon in an attempt to capture you. Don’t feel too bad about it, they probably hired some really good actors.”
Silence filled the room as Madrox and Strong Guy stared, slack-jawed, at the precocious pre-teen in front of them, Deadpool chuckled, “well, that settles that, huh?”
“How does she know that?” Strong Guy asked, still in shock at the revelation.
Deadpool pat the big man on the shoulder and put an arm around Madrox, “trust me, pal, it’s better to not ask questions.”
“Here’s a question, how the hell did you find this place before us?” Madrox inquired, pushing Deadpool’s arm off of him.
“Hey, let’s not worry about the how. Let’s worry about the why. I was clearly concerned about this girl’s safety.” A nearby section of wall collapsed and Deadpool looked over at it briefly before turning back around with an awkward laugh.
“Look, I’d hate to turn attention away from this thrilling battle of the minds but I think you’re missing the bigger picture here. Roxxon are not going to be happy that I escaped, they’re going to come down on all of us. Grenade for brains can handle himself.” Layla said, gesturing to Deadpool. “The three of us though? We need to stick together.”
“Well, you make a fair point and keeping someone around who knows about Roxxon wouldn’t be a bad idea.” Madrox looked to Strong Guy with a shrug, “what do you think, Guido?”
Strong Guy looked over the girl for a moment before turning back to Madrox. “What else are we going to do, leave her in an orphanage?”
“Well, this is a nice little family unit you’ve all created for yourselves. I’m just gonna…show myself out here.” Deadpool slowly shuffled away before Madrox stopped him.
“I don’t know how you did it and it’s probably best I don’t, but thanks.”
“All in a day’s work for heroes like us, Maddie. Now, off I go to fight evil or grab some breakfast, blowing up an evil corporate hideout is hungry work.” Deadpool walked off from the trio. Now, came the part he was dreading.
# # # # #
Pete Wisdom sat down at a desk in a dimly lit office. The desk was barren except for some paperwork that needed done, knowing his client, it would be at least an hour before he actually managed to show up. These weren’t his official offices but a room Wisdom had rented out to continue to keep both his fight against Walter Declun and his alliance with Deadpool a secret from his employers.
Before long, the door to the office opened as the mercenary himself strolled in. “Hey there, Petey! Did I make the news yet?”
Wisdom hid his surprise at Deadpool’s early arrival and simply pushed his papers to the side. “Wade, you’re early. Where’s the girl?”
“She’s safe and that’s the important part, right?” Deadpool asked nervously, keeping his eyes away from Wisdom’s glance.
“Stop dicking me around, where is she?”
“She went with the detective, Madrox. And before you lose it, tell me how she seemed to know I was showing up and how you tipped me off to her location?”
Wisdom couldn’t hide his shock this time, that was news to even him. “That…that doesn’t make any damn sense.”
“You’re telling me, how did you miss out on mentioning that I was dealing with a precog.”
“No,” Wisdom interjected, “her power isn’t precognition. There’s something else at play here. Christ, it’s never simple is it?” He sighed as he lit a cigarette and rubbed at his temple. “What about the facility and Bushwhacker?”
“Both taken care of, their little mutant testing ground got thrashed by the master exploder himself.” Deadpool proclaimed.
“You blew it up?! Christ, you’re not in Madripoor anymore. You can’t blow up a random building and not expect some questions to be asked.”
“Hey, it was in the middle of nowhere and, as you made abundantly clear these last few months, you and I don’t have anything that could connect us to one another. Way I see it, I did you a solid.”
“What you ‘did me’ is another in a lengthy line of headaches. Not to mention the target you painted on your back.”
“I can handle myself, Declun can throw everything his big corporate money can buy at me and I’ll still be here telling him to get stuffed.”
“I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about the people around you that you’re going to get killed. You’re reckless and that’s not going to end well for the non-superpowered folk.”
There was a long pause as Deadpool took those words in. “You give me the missions and I’ll get the job done. That was the agreement and, outside of any surprise superpowers, that’s what I’m gonna do.” Deadpool stared at Wisdom until he gave a sigh and a nod. “Now then, I’m going to make a metric ton of pancakes and I intend on eating all of them. You know how to get in touch.”
“Yeah, yeah, get out of here.” Wisdom said with a handwave as he sighed and returned to his paperwork. He’d have to get the full details another time, for now, he’d settle with finding out what exactly was going on with Layla Miller.
# # # # #
Morning came far too early for Weasel, he wasn’t sure when he had actually managed to drift to sleep but it certainly wasn’t long enough. He groggily awoke to the sounds of clanging metal coming from the kitchen.
“Wha-“ was all he could muster as he willed himself out of bed and to the door.
Peepers, the perpetually big-eyed mutant, who was also Weasel’s roommate, stood in the doorway to the kitchen staring at an unseen force that seemed to be emanating from the kitchen. His look was a mix of horror and bemusement.
“I don’t think that’s how you use a wisk.” Peepers said to the mysterious entity.
“This is how I use it. There’s a reason people come from all around to try my world-famous flapjacks.”
“I thought you said you were making pancakes?”
Weasel heard the unmistakable voice and jolted awake, Deadpool had returned. He should have expected it but Weasel gave up expecting anything from Wade Wilson years ago. “Wade, what are you doing?”
The kitchen itself was a mess, various pans laid all around, some managing to land in the sink by sheer luck, all had various amounts of pancake batter in them. Deadpool himself was wearing an apron and a chef’s hat, neither of which were around the home before his arrival.
“Weaz, you’re finally awake, I’m making flapjacks,” he said, gesturing to the kitchen table, littered with pans. “Why don’t you take up a seat and I’ll make some fresh for ya?”
“Uh…I’m good, why are you here, Wade?”
“Well, I figured you were right. There’s a lot of issues we have to sort through. I know I’ve been selfish in the past but…I’ve changed Weaz.” Deadpool took off his chef’s hat in an attempt to show he was serious. “I ended up saving a mutant girl from being experimented on last night and honestly, it felt good. Sure, I blew up some people but I did something good in the end. That’s got to count for something, right?”
“What does that have to do with us? I’m not your little tech-boy sidekick anymore, Wade.”
“You shouldn’t be, you’re better than that and I always knew you were. You should do literally anything else, working with me would be a terrible idea. Besides, I’m going for a new ‘lone wolf super-hero’ deal and you’d cramp my style.”
Weasel smirked, “right, that’s why you showed up with those two detectives?”
“Hey, only one of them is a detective. The other guy is just big boned.”
Weasel let out a laugh and took a seat at the messy table. “On second thought, I’ll take some flapjacks, I’m starving.”
“Yeah! Weaz, you remember how good these babies are, couldn’t resist.”
“Uh…I’ll take some too, I guess.” Peepers said as he moved to take a seat next to Weasel.
“I don’t remember asking you, Eyes Wide Open, but why the hell not? We’re celebrating, aren’t we?” Deadpool scooped more batter out of a pan he had at his feet and slapped it on the pan. “Things are only gonna go up from here, boys.”
# # # # #
A limo pulled up to the desecrated remains of a Roxxon warehouse. The site was a mess as various armored trucks parked themselves near the rubble, searching through the building for those still missing. A man with slicked back black hair exited the limo, a look of disgust on his face.
“Where is the government? This is a full-on terrorist attack and I want answers for who did this?” Walter Declun blurted into his phone as he ended the call and slammed his door. He strolled into the ruined building and was greeted by another man in a business suit.
“Mr. Declun, glad to see you make it in,” noticing that Declun was not going to respond the other man continued on. “The place appears to have been hit with two separate grenades, our current estimate is around a half dozen casualties and, of course, as I told you on the phone, we lost the mutant girl.”
Declun sneered, “where is Burbank?” The man motioned him to a nearby hallway where Bushwhacker sat on the ground, surrounded by armed guards. He looked up as Declun approached.
“Deadpool, the mutie freak you want is Deadpool. He had a few others with him but he’s the guy you want, crazy fucker almost blew me up.”
Declun looked the beaten and bruised man over, “do you remember our deal, Mr. Burbank?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” he paused for a moment, “you’re not…I mean, you can’t seriously-“
“I told you if you failed me and we lost the girl I’d need a replacement. You’re not a mutant but I’m sure experimenting on that arm of yours will be fun for a while.” Declun gestured for the guards as they went to grab Burbank.
Bushwhacker attempted to transform his arm but nothing happened, he looked to Declun in shock as a needle found its way into his neck. “Oh please, you think we haven’t developed an EMP capable of taking out your powers? The guards triggered it to get you out of that cell. We’ll discuss those ‘others’ you mentioned another time and for your sake, Mr. Burbank, I hope you are cooperative.”
The guards dragged Burbank away as he screamed obscenities at Declun before falling into unconsciousness yet again.
Declun turned to the other man, who shrunk a little at his gaze, “now then, let’s gather all the info we can find on Deadpool, shall we? I have a feeling we’ll need someone with more experience to handle him.”
Next: Dinosaurs and Deadpool. ‘Nuff said!