Back to GatefoldIssue #4 by Darryl Philips
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George enters from the right, followed by his Universal Body Snatcher, a large robot. A panel on the UBS's chest slides open, and the fifth and final Deadpool (From Sixth Earth, by the way) tumbles to the floor. He quickly regains his bearings, only to stare up into the faces of the four other Deadpools.
"I'll be very brief," George said, clearing his throat loudly. "Somewhere out there, a cosmic entity is trying to make all the Deadpools kick the bucket, and you five are the only ones left. The good news is, that puts you on the endangered species list, which means I'm allowed to help you out. The bad news is, you could still die from the actual mission to stop the cosmic entity. Any questions?"
"I don't have a question, but I sure got a complaint!" the Deadpool from Zana Bodnine shouted. "I'm a businessman, and you're taking up valuable time! I could've made three thousand bucks with my symbiote suit by now!"
George sighed and stroked his beard, a sign of annoyance. "You don't have a choice, pal. Either you help these guys or you end up dead. That's bad for business, I'd say." He turned to the large computer behind him and pressed a few keys.
The Deadpool from Nistanbul stiffened noticeably, and the space where his face should've been glowed, before revealing a computer-generated map.
"You are now here," George explained, pointing to a green dot. "I will transport you here," he added, moving his finger to a red dot. "After that, though, you'll have to enter the cosmic entity's lair alone to defeat it by yourselves."
"This sounds pretty risky," the Deadpool from Third Earth noted, "Even for us. And how are we supposed to communicate with each other? We've all got the same name!"
"Don't worry about communication," George replied. "As for names..." He touched the Deadpool from Nistanbul on the shoulder. "You'll be Zero, or D0 for short. DePo, you're D4. Symbiote Salesman, you're D9. Whammy Winner, you're D3. Silent Demon-Possessed Guy, you're... D6."
"WAIT!" D9 protested. "He's got a demon in him?! No way I'm working with him!"
"This from the guy who rents an alien parasite to junkies," D4 said with a smirk.
George sighed loudly. "I don't care. Whether you all die or survive, I keep my job. At least trust each other this once, and you'll never have to again. That's a promise."
# # # # #
Ten minutes later, in the western part of the Dark Sector...
D0 and D3 appeared just outside the gray castle walls. They were much too strong to break through, so the only way in was over the top.
D3 went first, scaling the wall with his climbing spikes. He'd just reached the top when he noticed that D0 was already there, waiting on him. "Show-off," he muttered, dropping down to the other side. D0 followed him towards a large stained-glass window in the castle's side.
Instantly, ten guards armed with swords rushed towards the pair, ordering them to stop.
D3 turned, the flame-thrower in his hand reducing the guards to piles of ash. He was about to laugh when he realized more guards were quickly approaching. "Go ahead!" he shouted to D0 over the roar of the flames. "I'll hold them off until you get back! Body counts are my specialty!"
D0 nodded quickly and dove through the window, rolled along the floor, and continued to run.
# # # # #
George watched the screen with great interest as D3 blasted the guards with another round of flames. "They may stand a chance yet," he said with a grin.
Then he changed the view so that D0 was running down a long hallway, coming closer to the final challenge. George only hoped that these Deadpools were as good as they claimed to be.
# # # # #
D0 had just entered a chamber when the creature blocked his path. It stood at least ten feet tall and weighed close to a ton. It seemed to be a brown dragon with large, leathery wings. "None may pass!" it snorted, flames spouting from his nose.
D0 dove aside just in time to avoid being fried.
The dragon roared, the sound being answered almost instantly by a similar roar. Another dragon, this one red all over, emerged from the other side of the chamber. "Intruders will be destroyed!" it shouted, beating the air with his wings.
D0 crashed into the wall, his head ringing from the impact. As the dragons cornered him, his white costume began to glow and pulse with a bright light. There was a blinding flash for a moment, and then a roar of surprise and pain as D4 rammed into the brown dragon, sending it clear across the chamber.
"Better luck next time, pal," D4 laughed. "DePo plays for keeps." Then he noticed the red dragon. "I like your color, but your face needs work. In fact, I could save you millions in plastic surgery right now."
Before the dragon could move, D4 drew a machine gun and squeezed the trigger. The dragon's head disappeared in a shower of red as its body collapsed in a bloody heap.
"Get outta here, kid," D4 said, pushing D0 towards the door. "I got the brown one. There's a move I've been wanting to try on a punk twice my size for a while."
# # # # #
George nodded approvingly as D4 lifted the brown dragon above his head and slammed it to the ground. "These guys are full of surprises."
He changed the camera view to that of D0 leaping over a huge spider-like monster. George touched a button on the console. "D0, you'll never get past that thing alone. You need D6's power."
D6 instantly appeared onscreen, just as the spider drove a large talon through D0's chest. Before it could do anymore damage, D6 pulled off his mask. A green liquid issued from his mouth, drenching the spider. For moments, nothing happened. Then the spider screeched in pain as the acid burned through its skin.
D6 pulled the mask back over his head, picked up D0, and charged towards the throne room.
# # # # #
D6's hand had just touched the doors when something wrapped around his arm and yanked him to the ground. He looked up to see a green ant towering over him as more vines secured his limbs. D0 had fallen behind the ant, so it took no notice of him.
"You've come quite close to Lord Tartan's quarters, but you'll get no further," the ant said. "Prepare to die, Wade Wilson."
There was a bright flash of light, then a loud, "YAAAAAAHOOOOO!" as D9 landed on the ant's back. "Hey, D6! Catch!" he shouted, tossing his teammate a small container.
D6 opened the container, and something resembling black slime exploded in his face. Thinking it had been a joke, he began to think of ways to kill D6 when the slime surrounded his costume. D6 growled inhumanly as the slime forced one of its tendrils straight into his heart.
D9 stabbed the ant with his hunting knife for the twenty-first time and said, "Y'know, even a queen ant would've died by now. What's your excuse, buster?"
D6 suddenly sprang from the ground and landed on the ant's abdomen. Long, talon-tipped limbs grew from his sides and buried themselves in the ant's head. The ant's head began to grow larger as the limbs pumped something into it. A few seconds later, it exploded, drenching both Deadpools in green blood.
"Never seen anyone use the symbiote like that," D9 commented, brushing the blood from his mask. "Would you be interested in buying it? I could give you a discount, for saving my hide and all."
D6 hopped to the ground and walked towards D0. He pressed a hand to the mutant's neck. "He was weak. The last teleportation was too great for his body."
"So he's dead?" D9 asked.
"Yes. The others will be soon. The rest of the castle is currently filling with a fatal gas. We'll be safe in Tartan's chamber."
"And you know this how?" D9 asked suspiciously.
"I used to work for him. Let's go."
# # # # #
George checked the vital signs of the other Deadpools. Sure enough, they were all dropping to nothing. Only D6 and D9 were still alive. If Tartan was going to be defeated, it was up to these last two to do it.
# # # # #
Tartan was seated on his throne when the two Deadpools walked in. Strangely enough, he appeared to be human. "You finally made it. Excellent." He tapped the left arm of his throne, and a mutated hybrid stepped from behind the throne. It wore a red and black costume.
"This is my servant, Deathpool. He's your replacement, my former employee," Tartan spat at D6. "I've been wondering if he was as good as the original, since he was built from your genetic material."
"Guess we'll find out," D6 said.
NEXT ISSUE: The last two Deadpools vs. Tartan & Deathpool! Can our heroes beat them? And what part will George play in it all? Find out soon
"I'll be very brief," George said, clearing his throat loudly. "Somewhere out there, a cosmic entity is trying to make all the Deadpools kick the bucket, and you five are the only ones left. The good news is, that puts you on the endangered species list, which means I'm allowed to help you out. The bad news is, you could still die from the actual mission to stop the cosmic entity. Any questions?"
"I don't have a question, but I sure got a complaint!" the Deadpool from Zana Bodnine shouted. "I'm a businessman, and you're taking up valuable time! I could've made three thousand bucks with my symbiote suit by now!"
George sighed and stroked his beard, a sign of annoyance. "You don't have a choice, pal. Either you help these guys or you end up dead. That's bad for business, I'd say." He turned to the large computer behind him and pressed a few keys.
The Deadpool from Nistanbul stiffened noticeably, and the space where his face should've been glowed, before revealing a computer-generated map.
"You are now here," George explained, pointing to a green dot. "I will transport you here," he added, moving his finger to a red dot. "After that, though, you'll have to enter the cosmic entity's lair alone to defeat it by yourselves."
"This sounds pretty risky," the Deadpool from Third Earth noted, "Even for us. And how are we supposed to communicate with each other? We've all got the same name!"
"Don't worry about communication," George replied. "As for names..." He touched the Deadpool from Nistanbul on the shoulder. "You'll be Zero, or D0 for short. DePo, you're D4. Symbiote Salesman, you're D9. Whammy Winner, you're D3. Silent Demon-Possessed Guy, you're... D6."
"WAIT!" D9 protested. "He's got a demon in him?! No way I'm working with him!"
"This from the guy who rents an alien parasite to junkies," D4 said with a smirk.
George sighed loudly. "I don't care. Whether you all die or survive, I keep my job. At least trust each other this once, and you'll never have to again. That's a promise."
# # # # #
Ten minutes later, in the western part of the Dark Sector...
D0 and D3 appeared just outside the gray castle walls. They were much too strong to break through, so the only way in was over the top.
D3 went first, scaling the wall with his climbing spikes. He'd just reached the top when he noticed that D0 was already there, waiting on him. "Show-off," he muttered, dropping down to the other side. D0 followed him towards a large stained-glass window in the castle's side.
Instantly, ten guards armed with swords rushed towards the pair, ordering them to stop.
D3 turned, the flame-thrower in his hand reducing the guards to piles of ash. He was about to laugh when he realized more guards were quickly approaching. "Go ahead!" he shouted to D0 over the roar of the flames. "I'll hold them off until you get back! Body counts are my specialty!"
D0 nodded quickly and dove through the window, rolled along the floor, and continued to run.
# # # # #
George watched the screen with great interest as D3 blasted the guards with another round of flames. "They may stand a chance yet," he said with a grin.
Then he changed the view so that D0 was running down a long hallway, coming closer to the final challenge. George only hoped that these Deadpools were as good as they claimed to be.
# # # # #
D0 had just entered a chamber when the creature blocked his path. It stood at least ten feet tall and weighed close to a ton. It seemed to be a brown dragon with large, leathery wings. "None may pass!" it snorted, flames spouting from his nose.
D0 dove aside just in time to avoid being fried.
The dragon roared, the sound being answered almost instantly by a similar roar. Another dragon, this one red all over, emerged from the other side of the chamber. "Intruders will be destroyed!" it shouted, beating the air with his wings.
D0 crashed into the wall, his head ringing from the impact. As the dragons cornered him, his white costume began to glow and pulse with a bright light. There was a blinding flash for a moment, and then a roar of surprise and pain as D4 rammed into the brown dragon, sending it clear across the chamber.
"Better luck next time, pal," D4 laughed. "DePo plays for keeps." Then he noticed the red dragon. "I like your color, but your face needs work. In fact, I could save you millions in plastic surgery right now."
Before the dragon could move, D4 drew a machine gun and squeezed the trigger. The dragon's head disappeared in a shower of red as its body collapsed in a bloody heap.
"Get outta here, kid," D4 said, pushing D0 towards the door. "I got the brown one. There's a move I've been wanting to try on a punk twice my size for a while."
# # # # #
George nodded approvingly as D4 lifted the brown dragon above his head and slammed it to the ground. "These guys are full of surprises."
He changed the camera view to that of D0 leaping over a huge spider-like monster. George touched a button on the console. "D0, you'll never get past that thing alone. You need D6's power."
D6 instantly appeared onscreen, just as the spider drove a large talon through D0's chest. Before it could do anymore damage, D6 pulled off his mask. A green liquid issued from his mouth, drenching the spider. For moments, nothing happened. Then the spider screeched in pain as the acid burned through its skin.
D6 pulled the mask back over his head, picked up D0, and charged towards the throne room.
# # # # #
D6's hand had just touched the doors when something wrapped around his arm and yanked him to the ground. He looked up to see a green ant towering over him as more vines secured his limbs. D0 had fallen behind the ant, so it took no notice of him.
"You've come quite close to Lord Tartan's quarters, but you'll get no further," the ant said. "Prepare to die, Wade Wilson."
There was a bright flash of light, then a loud, "YAAAAAAHOOOOO!" as D9 landed on the ant's back. "Hey, D6! Catch!" he shouted, tossing his teammate a small container.
D6 opened the container, and something resembling black slime exploded in his face. Thinking it had been a joke, he began to think of ways to kill D6 when the slime surrounded his costume. D6 growled inhumanly as the slime forced one of its tendrils straight into his heart.
D9 stabbed the ant with his hunting knife for the twenty-first time and said, "Y'know, even a queen ant would've died by now. What's your excuse, buster?"
D6 suddenly sprang from the ground and landed on the ant's abdomen. Long, talon-tipped limbs grew from his sides and buried themselves in the ant's head. The ant's head began to grow larger as the limbs pumped something into it. A few seconds later, it exploded, drenching both Deadpools in green blood.
"Never seen anyone use the symbiote like that," D9 commented, brushing the blood from his mask. "Would you be interested in buying it? I could give you a discount, for saving my hide and all."
D6 hopped to the ground and walked towards D0. He pressed a hand to the mutant's neck. "He was weak. The last teleportation was too great for his body."
"So he's dead?" D9 asked.
"Yes. The others will be soon. The rest of the castle is currently filling with a fatal gas. We'll be safe in Tartan's chamber."
"And you know this how?" D9 asked suspiciously.
"I used to work for him. Let's go."
# # # # #
George checked the vital signs of the other Deadpools. Sure enough, they were all dropping to nothing. Only D6 and D9 were still alive. If Tartan was going to be defeated, it was up to these last two to do it.
# # # # #
Tartan was seated on his throne when the two Deadpools walked in. Strangely enough, he appeared to be human. "You finally made it. Excellent." He tapped the left arm of his throne, and a mutated hybrid stepped from behind the throne. It wore a red and black costume.
"This is my servant, Deathpool. He's your replacement, my former employee," Tartan spat at D6. "I've been wondering if he was as good as the original, since he was built from your genetic material."
"Guess we'll find out," D6 said.
NEXT ISSUE: The last two Deadpools vs. Tartan & Deathpool! Can our heroes beat them? And what part will George play in it all? Find out soon